Originally posted in mid December 2015 and later updated
Although we are different skintones Sheba is my natural child, the picture above was taken by her Papa, my ex husband, when she was five days old. Her middle name is after my Grandmother Mary Isabel Lillias Stephen for who I lived with for several years, including in Kenya and whom I cared for in her final years. I was Granny's eldest Grandchild and was often told I was her favourite. (Just ask her friends). One of the first things Granny expressed having found out she was terminally ill with cancer is the desire to adopt me (my relationship with my own mother, her daughter, having been far from ideal for decades). She was vocal about her reasons at the time to very many people. Though she disbursed with the majority of her estate while she was alive, she made me sole beneficiary of the remainder. (Which was not a great deal). Much of the background and our adventures are detailed in my memoir Manners for The Modern Memsahib, Tales of Poetry and Swearing. Which I am currently finishing and seeking an agent for. I have been estranged from several members of my family for many years though this was and is not my choice nor was it my intention.
Below is a photograph of my Grandmother taken whilst living with me and eating seafood out and enjoying a toot of either Prosecco or champagne at the excellent Tamarind Mombasa. in either 2002 or 2003. When I began my memoir and had a very productive writing period (whilst living with Gran in a fully staffed rented house by the sea in Malindi). Some of my most productive times while writing have been spent while enjoying freedom and peace of mind, great food and drink and friends. Those that would rather have preferred austerity, care homes and social workers are welcome to choose to experience living under them. We have and did / do not.
all images are copyright me.
Below is what I was doing when my late Dad's estate was in probate being dealt with by Hartwig Solicitors, 50 Regent Street, London without my knowledge. As you can see we were in Nairobi for Gran's op and convalescence.
UPDATE:
Also I do not, nor have I ever, lived on a council or social housing estate. My property is mortgaged and privately owned by me. I have worked on several of the worst "sink" estates in London while working for Poplar Harca (Housing and Regeneration Community Association) on a temporary contract basis (through Reed and later direct) in the late 90's. A fact I appraised David Cameron of via social media after the London riots, and wrote in various online forums about. I suggested at the time that he contact this excellent organisation for advice sorting out his own flawed policies.
I also found an earlier picture of my daughter (taken whilst in my tummy). FYI I have NEVER suggested she be adopted and NEVER would. I did once speak to the adoption agencies to enquire about adopting or fostering a BME (British Minority Ethnic) / African child which had always been an idea. After the experiences I have had here this is no longer viable or desirable as a goal for me to undertake in the UK.
Accidentally deleted this earlier pic I found of Sheba in my tummy so re posting all rights reserved:
Apropos of nothing except earlier post re Gran, we found her 2005 diary earlier in a drawer. Update June 2017 Incase that is not quite enough proof here's a DNA test we took as a Christmas present to ourselves when we discovered our hitherto unknown Native American ancestry:
UPDATE 23/12/18 Due to unwelcome meddling and offers to adopt my child (who has three fine Godmamas in place) in the past during my MS relapses (and not wanting anything to do with local social care services) I now have Powers of Attorney for my health and care in place. These are not family members. Sheba boards. This was not organised nor is it paid for by said shitty social services nor the council. I pay into a couple of small life and health insurance policies at least one of which (Met Life) whom I thoroughly recomend as the modest monthly payment has paid enough to cover most of my recent private pre and post hospital care for which I get no help though would be entitled) to secure my daughter's future and cover costs as best I can - but have made arrangements that will never include social services for her future and arrangements that will never include care homes nor local social workers (who I have made several official complaints regarding and have complained in progress regarding) myself. I would not trust local Adult social care, the care system or the council or my family to care for a pet Goldfish or a potted cactus
if I had one let alone myself or my daughter.